piece

like breaking a plate
already cracked
it came with little surprise

in the space in between
there is room
for poetic sentiment

and the pieces that are
where the whole once was
will find a new reason to be

piece of time
piece of heart
piece of mind

her

1. i'm watching "her" for the third time and it still matter so much in so many ways.  it's so hard to watch.  and so comforting and true, too.

 "the past is a story we tell ourselves"
and the way it feels to be the only one in the world for awhile
the reason and the purpose
and how that changes
inevitably.

2.  i quit my 3 day juice cleanse early.

i felt awful yesterday.  today- day 3- i was holding out hope that i would feel that "radiant" glow that was supposed to kick in.  but i didn't.  i felt miserable and unfocused and fatigued.  and i wasn't sure why i was doing it anymore.  i have 3 more full bottles in the fridge, and i just stopped.  i just stopped and ate nachos with my friends.

i was all set on finishing regardless of my miserable state, come hell or high water, because i'd spent so much money on the damn things.  it was a really hard reality to accept that something i'd spent so much on could maybe not be that great for me afterall.  that it might be better to cut the loss.

thoughts.

patterns & trends.
another year.

there will be nights

you will get older every year

find yourself repeating the same phrase patterns

you picked up somewhere once

and kept

"seems like we were just here"

and i'll say that again next year

standing in that office with keys in my hand

even though you're older

and your life is full

-nearly shining of full-

there will still be nights when the whole world is asleep

and you are not

times when you need to work and you can't find the drive

times when you need to stop working and you can't remember how

some things you never get right with age

today i finished watching the final episode of cheers.  

began at the beginning and just watched on through

napped through some

only listened at times

but i was there

and when the ending came, it almost surprised me.  

it took a sudden reflective turn

old characters returned and left again

and then the credits rolled a final time.  

i had gotten so used to next episodes.

i have an early memory of cheers.

six years old- kindergarten-

curled up on my babysitter's lap while she and her husband

-mike the firefighter-

watched their grown up show "cheers"

my sister and i were the only kids left

my parents were late to pick us up.

i remember it for the novelty-

they were never late to pick us up-

they were never the kind of parents who were late 

or unusual in any real way 

until you grow up 

and comb through memories with a fine toothed comb

but who has time for that, really?

older every year.