x

It seemed much easier,
then,
to spell out a thought and place it in the world.
Even in the midst of anguish or confusion, the visceral and new sense of disillusionment made expression all the more urgent and worthy and deserving of a space to spin or echo or simply exist.

Maybe that's the difference.

As much as the world seems entirely consumed by chaos, I no longer feel the poetic confusion of delusion propelling me.

Heaven and hell have collapsed and here we are... unsurprised and tired as we navigate new horrors.

weary query

when the sum total of lived experience results in
no expertise
only a curiosity that does not wane
a deep love and simultaneous repulsion toward humanity
a desire to continue wandered exploration
without qualification

it stings at the sides of my intellect and ego
to know that all I've done or imagine myself capable of doing
will not open a single door in sight

how to convey the quality of my humanity
my charisma
my tired and underused potential
in a cover letter or resume

certificates lapsed
degrees covered in dust

i do not want to play
these merit games
that feel entirely divorced
from pulsing hearts