yet to be

when i was in high school i used to make a questionnaire in my journal before every school year which included these kinds of serious ponderings:
1.  will in go up a bra size?  (almost certainly a no)
2.  will my high school god of idolatry finally move through the great cloud of blindness separating us and see me for the perfect match that i am?  (definitely a no)
3.  will i get asked to prom?  (maybe.  but i'll no doubt do my own hair and look like a complete mess)

and every year or a few years later i would look back and answer.

although it was a way of documenting how the cookie ended up crumbling,  the whole thing was really more to do with what my general concerns and questions and wishes and fears were at the time.

on the verge of this budding relationship with my nikon (who i am thiiiiiiiiis close to naming), i find myself overwhelmed with the same sort of excited/nervous questions.  So, here goes.

Dear awesome and interesting and stable and overall contented future self:
1.  will i become more adept in focus and flash?

2.  will i go semi-pro in the next year?  will i make some dollars to support this love?  $10?  $100?  $1,000?

3.  if i do move in the direction of for profit, will photography lose it's charm?

4.  will i look back at the pictures i'm taking now and think they are amateurish or alright?  (i can already see a lot of little things i would adjust or fix... focus, lighting.... i just don't always know how)

5. regarding the casual way i handle my gear:  will it lead to scratched lenses and broken somethings and expensive replacement fees or is my nonchalance just the mark of someone who feels really comfortable and natural in their photographer skin?

6.  will getting more involved in photography communities make me more critical of myself?  more critical of others?  tired of the whole thing?  inspired about the whole thing?

7.  where will my style go?  will i prefer photographing people or places or textures or nature or details or big  things?

8.  once i learn more, will i get hungry for new lenses and new cameras and new everything?

9.  will i  get the coveted "Press Pass" into an event?

10.  will i keep up with my 365? even on busy days?  even on sad days?  even on inconvenient days?  even on uninspired days?