sometimes i just want to be unabashedly repulsive. i want to sit around in yesterday's clothes, hair greased back and harnessed by 47 bobby pins. i want to gulp soda really loudly and send really repulsive noises out into the universe. i want to let my face contort really strangely- let my eyes bug- or stare with that face that make me look like i'm dead. i want to not tend to body hair for whole weeks. i want to let gaping pores and fresh pimples reign freely all over my face. a day without penciled in eyebrows. i want to hum whole songs in really off keys and walk around all day baby talking to my cats. i want to eat 20 kinds of dip and not bother to wipe remnants from my face or chip crumbs from my clothes. i want to fall asleep every few hours for a deep sleep cat nap where my mouth hangs open and makes me look like a toothless old hag. drool all over everything.
and without apology.
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