i think in the fall we do

is this what it is all about?

ten hours of unadulterated sleep in which i dreamt i was in love with my bald uncle. slowly taking care of the demands of the day, but i have a crate full of projects from 3 weeks ago that i still haven't touched. no idea what i am going to do tomorrow. don't feel like even thinking about the maintenance involved in the day to day. showering. dusting. putting gas in the car. paying bills. checking things off lists.

for what? for what?

summer fun is fun. caught up in the impulse of everything. such short sighted revelry. it is all in the moment and right before us and blinding. fall means dim and a certain curling up. a certain stepping back and analyzing. a scrutinization and a questioning. and an ache.

we find ourselves doing things we're not sure we want to be doing in the name of needs or wants further removed. in the summer we don't question those twice removed motives. i think in the fall we do.