L: You are experiencing the gut wrenching aspect of being human. You are facing down the heavy and the ache and the daring to love. It is always a dare. Always a risk. You are having to realize- to feel in that unbearable way- that connecting with others means being vulnerable to a lack of control. It is humbling. Makes you feel limbless- stranger to self. Welcome, though. Welcome to it. let it all fall apart. ... And don't even think of dating until you feel good on your own.
S:
L: Have you left the house today? Make yourself leave the house today.
S:
L: And it GOES in waves. Minute by minute. One foot in front of the other.
S:
L: Crazy is an ok place to feel. At your core, you are not.
S:
L: Damn. Damn. On a positive note... you were doing fine. focus on the fact that for a good stretch of hours you were ok. you will get there again. What is your plan for today?
S:
L: Cling to the little moments of ok for dear life... even knowing that they're probably temporary. Lose yourself in the ok. Keep me posted- progress... distraction... steps.
S:
L: Of course, of course. You're doing well.
S:
L: Let it be enough. Could be years. Could be never. there is no calculating these things. you will never regret taking this time- however long or short it may be- to figure out you... to be good with you... to know yourself on your own two feet. Embrace the lack of accountability... try new things... eyes wide open and ready to embrace and refigure your worldview on your own terms.
...
You will find that you are a remarkably rare type of person... which will be lonely, perhaps, at first... but eventually will turn into some outrageously beautiful and constant strength. You are your own creation.... always... which can be terrifying or empowering. let it empower. embrace.
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