i'll let you know when i get there

A consistent urge to utter forgive me forgive me forgive me And a consistent whisper in return of course of course of course A source of exoneration. A place to adore and to repent. Something like a bow. the desire to confess to be known utterly and to still hear yes.

 Seems legit. One girl's contribution to the class potluck:

me: -That place was magic to us.  Magnetic, still. -And ordered pizza?  I think that was the first day I tried on skinny jeans. -Took 3 naps today.  Ate two corndogs.  Gonna go read about wolves for awhile.  LIVING. -Is this what will become of us?  These concerns?  These fixations? -And bouncing around in slow motion!  It's almost unbelievable.  Almost. -Are you thriving or surviving? -Yeah, ouch.  It hurts.  Sorry in advance.  Proceed with caution. -Little by little.  maybe maybe.  Try try try. them: -Lightning strikes. -There is no such thing as growing out of a mole. -We will come back to this place. -Do you want a banana?  I've seen you eat a lot of bananas. -If your farts were visible would you still fart in public? -Deal -Don't leave without hotdogs. -Yeah.  Struck a nerve.

loving is a dangerous thing to do even in small amounts every expansion and every release comes with a stronger contraction of doubt this is the best that i can do- considering all (considering all) words that have been rehearsed and said are very easy to say again and the deeds, they speak for themselves but then an uncomfortable descent (Morrison knew) a reckoning with some rusted memory box an urge to apologize  incessant chattering, clarifying nothing lonely for the lie for all of my attempts my best won't be enough again the offering is exhausting   giving away your tells opening up your insides to an unforgiving, harsh light scrutiny (repulsive) it's hard to remember what it feels like, now to have laid it all bare and to still be there or how it ever felt right before rusted rust and grey- a winter array you knew that this was coming resting consuming investing clothing stepping growing s...

Seems like everyone's feeling a little defeated around this time of year.  A pressure cooker of obligations in every walk of life.  The students are two scantron bubbles away from insane, and I'm about one cafeteria meal away from joining them. Today I had to exercise my Mandated Reporter title based on what a student wrote in her warm-up exercises.  I can't remember ever having to do that before- at least not to this extent.  When I read it, everything slowed right down for a second- and then everything sped up.  A rush.  A life saver thrown to sea.  Please, don't be too late. I'm not sure how to even feel.  I feel a lot.  I don't know what that means.  I could have identified a bit of melancholy, but I had no idea of the extent.  Some people bear the weight so silently.   I thought of her for the rest of the day.  And on the drive home.  And throughout the evening. I wonder if she's ok right now.  W...

Throw yourself into an all-giving ocean. Name it after a hurricane. Drift awhile on some new wetness. Thrash around longer than you should just to defy the drown. The tide comes and goes. It'll always go. Linger Longer Then less and less Sn  a  p Ssssssssssnake $79.99 Sssssssssshhhh Esssssssssssss No need to Ssssswallllooww Hisssssssssssssss Hollow words Coiled somewhere snug Safe, stifled and starving Release it up my sleeve. You've really got a Hold on Hollow Is it me (you're looking) PLAY Come on. the past is prologue he said that once, to her and now there's a baby baby and some could have but didn't. A prolonged production of the most important part.  Proper then primal. Prepare. Postpone. Perform. paddle paddle paddle. Process, perhaps. This is all foreplay. This is all foreplay. This is all.