true terror is glimpsing your former self

during Teach for America training, they did a lot to move [well meaning but incredibly] sheltered people like me into a greater awareness of the struggles and realities of, well, the other 84% of the country/world.  This week I was reaching into my teaching archives and unearthed a gem of a worksheet from a workshop called "Unpacking Privilege".  We were first supposed to fill in the boxes with how we identified, and then prioritize them 1-12 in order of how closely we related that category to our sense of identity.  Here is a glimpse of mine then and now:

	2006	2013
Race/Ethnicity	White	White
Gender	Female	Female
Religion	Catholic	Atheist
Socio-Economic Status/Class	Middle Class	Middle Class
Sexual Orientation	Straight	Straight (fluid?)
Country of Origin/Geography	USA	USA
Language	English	English
Physical Ability	Fully Able	Fully Able
Intellectual Ability	High Ability	High Ability
Political Affiliation	Republican (conservative)	No affiliation
Age	23	30
Level of Education	College graduate	Nearly completed MA

So there's that.

What really makes my skin crawl is the order that I prioritized them then/now.  I don't even know who that girl was and I'm sad and mad that she spent 23 years of her existence so sheltered and unaware.  The true terror comes from realizing that you could be saying that about yourself again in 7 years in ways you can't anticipate.

Here were/are my identity priorities:

2006	2013
Religion: Catholic	Gender:  Female  *
Intellectual Ability:  High Ability	Religion:  Atheist**
Republican (conservative)	Socio-Economic Status:  Middle Class
Level of Education: College graduate	Age:  30***
Gender: Female	Intellectual Ability:  High
Age: 23	Sexual Orientation:  Straight (fluid)****
Socio-Economic Status: Middle Class	Race/Ethnicity:  White
Sexual Orientation: Straight	Education:  MA
Race/Ethnicity: White	Physical Ability:  Fully able*****
Physical Ability:  Fully Able	Language:  English
Language:  English	Political Affiliation:  no affiliation
Country of Origin:  USA	Country: USA******

*gender and religion are really interchangeable in 1^st and 2^nd spots

** I remember little about filling this out the first time, except the feeling of not wanting others to see my answers.  I knew that my religious and political views made me a minority in that crowd.  Now,  I remain in the minority with my atheism, and politics have fallen off the radar.  I don’t think I ever was really that invested in them… but I was definitely dating someone who identified as Republican. 

*** Age used to hover in the middle because I thought my youth would prevent anyone from taking me seriously.  Now it climbs even higher on the list… for similar reasons.

****  Someday we won’t even be talking about sexual orientation in the same way.  College classes and experience and a number of factors have lifted that shelter.

***** although I do have a bunion and a weird foot thing

****** I have no idea what it means to be American except for what it is not.   I do not have a patriotic bone in my body, and I am growing rapidly opposed to war and other atrocities that I associate with being “a true American”