another end

These weeks have been going just so quickly.  I just reached another end to another moleskine last night.  Before I retire it to the collection, I'm going to send some of the randomness from the last few weeks of thought out into the cyberspacial world.  So, bullets:

• the super duper weird way that all couples are:  the weird language & way of speaking to/at each other full of codes and signals and little things that mean big things and big things avoided.  patronizing or coddling or loving or joking-but-not-really-joking or joking-with-a-full-heart.  being on a pair is the oddest thing.
• "It's always everything at once"
• Sprinkling like a quiet cloud passing:  25 pencils and pens beginning to take a quiz
• Things that bug
• meeting people you think are interesting only to realize they're crazy
• mismanaged time
• everyone in the world's goddamned needs
• elitists
• that guy at open mic nights.  STOP COMMUNICATING WITH ME.  THERE IS NO REASON FOR YOU TO COMMUNICATE WITH ME.
• people's general internet presences
• every single singer in the world trying to be Regina Spektor
• Does education have anything to do with this?
• The protagonist in this novel goes through a series of disillusions.  He wants to hold on to moral idealism, but the situation he confronts makes that impossible.
• second chances every day
• "Freeing yourself is one thing;  claiming ownership of that freed self is another."
• relationships are weird.  others are strange.  the self is strange.  i feel like a watcher, next to myself.  observing myself.  watching it all complacently.  going through motions, my heart places somewhere out of the way.  safe, but hidden so well i'm not sure i can find it again.
• fat legs won't stop.
• well wait. am i who i think i am?  who they think i am?  who is anyone?
• you think you're doing fine until you find yourself in the bathroom crying again.
• CLARITY
• there is no before.  we are always already.  
• for give
• john wayne had male lovers
• somewhere! i saw the cloud coming and i turned it around!
• unwavering & stable
• myth:  we live in a classless society where everyone can move up the social ladder
• recent google searches:
• the effect of gamma rays on man-in-the-moon marigolds
• mary mary quite contrary
• lifespan of a fly
• chuck d
• wendy's new logo
• where does that leave me?