i'll let you know when i get there

near the speaker, a question: "what if  the future  you fear  is coming?" if that feared future arrives or is here already in some seed form, it changes nothing. little matters.  still. curiosity matters.  still. hope matters.  still- sights & sounds & a warm blanket on cold feet & busy ants moving things  Night skies drowned out by light pollution Other people's trash Replying always replying Mixed drinks mixed media mixed reviews mixed feelings ALL of it IS still happening. & if/when that changes, well don't we humans  just kick the can move the line hit refresh acclimate? when the future I hear is coming arrives it will just be another day of the week & we will go on pushing snooze & dropping crumbs &  canceling plans & charging devices & worrying about a new tomorrow drawing near.

She was bent over on a block under the bridge  Slowly standing  With her walker  On a heat dome day. "Are you doing alright?" I asked as I passed And she immediately, urgently shook her head "NO" White whisps loose under her hand and bent over like a cane.   My mind prepared to get her water or walk her home or even something more extreme when she said "My daughter and granddaughter passed away a few days ago and I am just beside myself." "I'm so sorry. That's devestating." And more sincere, useless words said. "THIRTY-ONE YEARS OLD." She said with anger at the injustice as she slowly walked away. 

when you see the black speck in the clear water, you scoop it up urgently, not sure how long it has been circling, and when you suddenly see its little legs moving in your palm,  A Miracle!   "you're alive!"  you will think with delight here you are here you are there you go there you go step onto this leaf you're free you're free and you will think yourself a little noble to have saved a life! something profound something powerful how benevolent of you to have seen and thought enough to save And later it will find you. Like a message a memory hissing air from a tire something about the way those small lives are quite different, actually something about colonies they way their entire lives are harmonized inseparable from the whole and the quickest search reveals that an ant separated from its community wanders alone, confused until it dies What happens when there's something bigger? What happens when, soon, we are small and some giantic force through some fund...