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Showing posts from March, 2013

up above the world so high

text:  Happy Easter!  He is Risen! tempting response:  where is he?

true terror is glimpsing your former self

during Teach for America training, they did a lot to move [well meaning but incredibly] sheltered people like me into a greater awareness of the struggles and realities of, well, the other 84% of the country/world.  This week I was reaching into my teaching archives and unearthed a gem of a worksheet from a workshop called "Unpacking Privilege".  We were first supposed to fill in the boxes with how we identified, and then prioritize them 1-12 in order of how closely we related that category to our sense of identity.  Here is a glimpse of mine then and now: 2006 2013 Race/Ethnicity White White Gender Female Female Religion Catholic Atheist Socio-Economic Status/Class Middle Class Middle Class Sexual Orientation Straight Straight (fluid?) Country of Origin/Geography USA USA Language English English Physical Ability Fu...

conversations with bill, the nanny

BC:  what do you do with a dead hamster? me:  sell it to a blind kid        make a very small wig        burial at sea        overwhelmed by options BC:  those are much better than mine.  which included throwing it away. me:  did you offer a prayer? BC:  we are a strictly non-denominational household.  an interpretive dance will be performed, followed        by a short speech on reincarnation.

i don't lose sleep

turned on the television to a preacher man telling his congregation how things are going to be when they die. he scoffed at "nonbelievers" who do not think that anything will happen to them after death, "well, they've got a rude awakening coming for them because that it is not the truth the Bible reveals." really. he scoffed and essentially called us liars "they will tell you they do not fear death, they will act brave, but that is not the case.  i'll bet you they lie awake at night in fear." well, you lost that bet. it's not really a brave act, it's a real calm.  my fear and anxiety and obsessive thoughts on death ended when i officially moved from questioning christianity to clarified atheism.  it's not that i won't have any anxiety if i'm actually confronted with my own mortality, but it will have everything with an innate desire to avoid pain and zero to do with what will happen to me after.  my life became infin...

spectacular

I've been waiting by the mailbox for a week or two for my new glasses.  I had high hopes that they might even be wearable in public, or MAYBE even be nerdycute in some sort of way. No. I look like a truck driver.  Or a really weird gym teacher. Instead of magnifying my eyes like the kid in The Christmas Story (which might be awkward, but not repulsive), they do the reverse, shrinking the appearance of my eyes to an unnatural, beady-eyed rat size. Cruel world.

waiting for the pope to get dressed

they're blowing smoke a new pope has been voted in if the holy spirit guides the cardinals in their choices- why is a vote necessary? if they're all in tune with god's prompting- why are there differing opinions? did some of the cardinals turn their holy spirit hearing aids off? does god revel in the pageantry and suspense? is this a jesus christ PR ploy? i have some discomfort with large, waiting, shouting masses the frenzy can so easily turn into something monstrous they anticipation and sense of togetherness can so easily pass as evidence of some larger-than-you truth we humans, we are fallible we humans love to lose our voices in the crowd we humans, we love to put our finger on the map and say we were X (here) at this exact historical moment on march 13, 2013 when the first latin american pope was elected (to be followed by another, in my lifetime no doubt) i was holed up in my room during lunch with the lights off eating at least a hal...

sunset

the idea that everyone gets so wild for sunsets and snaps a million photos and thanks god for such beautiful creation politely ignoring the fact that the grandeur of the sky spread at sun down is directly related to the amount of shit we put in the sky through pollution. thank you, jesus for so many man-made ideas of beauty and comfort.

and then

restoration some spark in some dark space a torrent without tears intact two legs of a compass that meet somewhere

time marches on

1.  women can be funny have you ever heard someone say with confident, casual certainty that women just aren't funny when it comes to, you know, being funny.  i beg to differ.  i've come across a few blogs in the last few days that have such distinct, developed voices that are EFFING HILARIOUS and that are published on a daily basis which leads me to believe there might be a natural funny bone in women after all. 2.  the(now shuffled off into retirement) pope there were too many bells ringing in rome.  too much pomp and circumstance over the color of some old man's shoes.  too much weeping in the streets.  so much performance, it feels like misdirection in some hocus pocus gig misdirection, indeed. 3.  intimacy/disconnect   time in abundance/not time enough   swing, pendulum, swing 4.  those little hidden hurts we harbor and mumble to ourselves on long drives 5.  material needs > chemistry > common goals/ in...