i'll let you know when i get there

Ida the tax lady has been sitting across from me mumbling to herself for about forty minutes. Those turbo tax programs sound so good at about this moment every year. But hey, Ida needs a job. That Avon jewelry isn't going to pay for itself. Go, economy, go. I am a little afraid that I'm becoming a terrible person. and now she wants to talk about her hair and her fat face. True. And no, Ida, for the twentieth time, I don't want a soda. Can't you see I feel bloated?

A character in Identity goes through this crisis of sorts when she realizes that men no longer look at her. She is no longer noticed. Three generations ago, the life expectancy was 30 years less than it is today. For the most part, figuring out to do with that long last chapter is still kind of an experiment, I guess. i've been thinking of that lately. Life after 60. i don't want to squander my "youth" or cease seizing the day or any of that jazz just because i'm so focused on thirty years from now... but damn, life is long and i don't want to set myself up for a dismal, drawn out last few decades. What will matter in 30 years? Despite where the next decade finds me... here is what I think will remain important: -health -financial stability -a sense of humor so... maybe i'll start thinking of those things a little more and worrying about the rest of it a lot less.

12:10 how the middle is the only segment without games. the most comfortable. the least memorable. guard down. no questions asked. any question askable. the quiet surrender when people get complacent and for awhile enjoy the routine and the stability of it all. just awful. but the ends are just as awful. the beginning game when it's all natural and real and unreal and happening. when you know it's all a sham, you know you're only seeing the very best side of things, and you don't care. willful insanity. (cookie #3, gulp of coffee, stare at movie) drugged and gaping mouth. craving. the idea that you actually are your best self. and then, sometime later, after awhile, you find it all strange. you find it all tugofwar. unsure of what you were even thinking would happen. you find the things that seemed closest now feel the most strange. the strangest thoughts become the most real. you get what you want only to cower, terrified by it. and the days still h...

"I have downloaded the most ridiculous apps... fed sheep fake grass for like 20 minutes... I was almost drooling it was so fun." -anne frank question: so, the sheep were real?

Sorry I am Falling slowly Both sides of a landslide now So what?

I looked through NY pictures and almost cried a little. I really felt like myself there. That trip lasted all of about 12 seconds, but it stays and stays. I really felt like myself there. What are you saying yes to? The thing is, people believe small yesses. After awhile, small yesses start to sound normal sized. you forget what it's like to say a big yes. To mean yes. Something is happening.