i'll let you know when i get there

"Hey Debbie, where'd you get your wild stallion necklace?" "From a gypsy." _____________________________________________________________________________ A busy Tuesday. The bell rings for the after lunch class and I run from lunch supervision to get a bathroom break before last class. As I'm washing my hands, I glance in the mirror and notice a rogue hair, nearly an inch long, waving at me from my chin. A rogue facial hair. It was blonde, I'm sure it was having fun. Mocking me. Despite efforts to destroy it and everything it stands for by using my fingernails like mcguyver tweezers, the stubborn rogue hair will not be moved. And so i opt out of the florescent and just manage on natural light for the last class. keep your distance, children. no one wants the stress of a law suit. " Student Stabbed by Teacher 's Chin Hair" ______________________________________________________________________________ Apparently the human body...

not pictured: goat cheese me. wine. shakespeare. goat cheese. fancy, right? i thought so too, for a minute. for a second it felt perfect. but now there is goat cheese all over my pages, my eyes hurt from squinting in this beauty enhancing dim light, and i really just can't wait to finish this glass so that i can go home to stretch pants. but for a second it felt perfect. metaphor for life?

another poetry rejection. i think i'll go hack off my hair.

Despite a rocky start, I will toot my horn for being a mothaeffin fantastic teacher these past few weeks. Reminiscent of the early days when I really REALLY cared. And it feels good. It feels real good. This website matters to me: http://loveteachblog.blogspot.com/ A few flashes: 1. Love, Teach reminds me of all the ridiculousness that was Philly. In particular, I recalled the following scene: I am sitting in a parent/teacher conference with the VP and a terrible, terrible nasty student who was fronting all compliant because her mother was in the room. I am listening to the VP (who is a bit off even on her best days) lecture this nasty about what it means to be a strong woman, and I happen to look down. The VP was wearing some school marm skirt and had her legs crossed. I have no idea how the girlpower speech ended, because when I looked down I witnessed the longest human leg hair I have ever seen in my life. On the VP. Lecturing nasty about class and being a woman. ...

"dear lord, bless this food. and thank you, aunt k for slaving away in the kitchen all day to make this junk. grandma's at church praying for us. and please help the needy. AMEN." ...starts clapping. -delivered by a tipsy aunt k.

me: maybe it's been a weird week because monday was a full moon & today is the 13th. bill cosby: I don't believe in that shit, but i totally believe in that shit.

*spank* we do NOT hit in this house. okeee...

doormats say welcome home

well. i tried to do the whole "be a better, more motivated and invested teacher" thing. and then i stayed after work for an hour and a half to attend a voluntary professional development little treat that ran overtime (cutting into nap), included no snacks (which were promised and was reason #1 for going at all), and included gems like this, where the instructor told us to arrange the kids from smartest to dumbest: and so, that was something. it made me feel like the whole world is full of dimwitted moron teachers, and that i am already doing entirely too much. motivation waning. i go through the motions of being an effective teacher all day long- and i am- but on the inside i am mostly checked out, wishing away the hours, and feeling completely trapped. loveless marriage. but i don't think it's just this job. i think it would be any job. any job that wasn't new. and that really, really scares me. other thoughts on work: "i thought about dele...

the onset of a quiet crisis sounds like suburbia, 2 a.m. nothing or a quiet electric hum. somewhere across the country in another life mass was said, the fur coat dusted off for a night tossing and turning to a familiar fear. here, i could be anyone. it is a newness that feels old; those things you think of incessantly and years later, when they are happening, you wonder where you are in all of it. two roads diverging i can only stand and watch this for so long dark and deep, but i have promises to keep to myself. a quiet a deadening or underground growth sometimes i do not know who you are in all this. who i am is. untouched in a room occupied small talk until spent- a quiet death. calm consideration. waiting on some universe to speak a word to straighten this spine. and Gabriel said and then there was and Gabriel was there and there was a light which meant something important was happening a halo a neon indication and then there was ...