look

This city is full of crying women.

in the summertime

ok ok ok
how do i do this?
something about wandering
and crying "Margaret"
on a green hill.
something about making good art
or getting back to myself
(self?  where have i been, then?)
finding a new here when
home is not home---
belong to the city
to myself
to every single second-
catch up to my sense
i won't be long
feel feel feel
haunted
the dull ache looms
(i've been here before)
i've never been here before
i don't want firsts that come with lasts
i want a way i want a stay i want a knowing and a clear want returned

(i know what zeppelin song your feet are moving to
i know a lot of things
but i don't know what to do
when every single day isn't reason enough to stay
and i can't wait for garden walks
with feet afraid of planting)

the -how- remains
was how to stay
now how to go
and still remain
somewhere
in the
present

tense

gratitude

photography is by far the best form of cure-all i could ever conjure.  
it helps to detach and it helps to engage. 
it is distance and intimacy. 
everything.

safety

there are situations or moments or discoveries or realizations that change everything...
they forever alter the way you see your past.
there is a before that and and after that
and the before seems like some
other life lived by some
other person in a
much safer
place.

quantum mechanics

"You see, we can never know with any kind of certainty how an atom will behave naturally.  Because the very instant that we look at an atom, we alter it.  The very act of looking is never a passive thing.  It has an effect.  In fact, physicists tell us that reality, at its deepest level, is the response of the observer." 

-Being Erica   

any other

a poem found and felt
something about a sob
releasing a sob on some ordinary day

i wrote down the title
to return to it later

but today i looked and it wasn't there
the source is all wrong
and i don't remember anything \
except a vague feeling of it

and that something
like this
can be lost
is so sad to me

today

devastation