i'll let you know when i get there

the media has rolled out the carpet and begun the fetishization of today's horrific murder today at the elementary school in connecticut.  they are giving the american psyche some feeling of control as they give minute by minute updates as to the names of the victims.  they are interviewing bus drivers who knew the students.  children are being shoved in front of cameras to talk about how frightened they were.  you can hear it in the scripts of the stations- in the voices of the anchors and correspondents- they are desperate to make something new out of this.  something that will make this a worst or a most or an extreme.  sensational.  sick. and everyone online is horrified and giving their children extra hugs tonight.  and i do not blame them. and everyone online is asking for god's healing for the families and victims.  and i judge them. and everyone keeps stuttering, in chorus like stupor, "i just don't understand why ." my usual re...

If you've ever had a confrontation that made clear the people's enormous capacity to justify incredibly unjustifiable things and believe incredibly incredible things... if you've ever had the terrifying experience of realizing your very own power to delude yourself- to believe with a whole heart and a suppressed mind in the outrageous and illogical things... you know, then, that you can never quite look at the world with quite the same amount of belief or trust again.  you can't quite greet humanity with the same sense of applause for our elevated ability to reason.   once you have had to recognize the giddy willingness with which humanity throws itself toward the fantastical, the comforting, the mystical, the self-assuring without regard at all for plausibility, the hollowness of all dogma seems to echo off even the most sound-seeming doctrines. i feel that way about all things christian. among many other things show me a truth and i will show you a price tag. ...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YnvzsZCJjZ0 Culture is so weird. So weird.

SO, a few days ago I was almost lost to a sea of depression after watching a man wait for his dog to poop. Yesterday brought another installment in the ever exciting series of Girl* Meets Emo as I found myself crying big old tears watching Brave. At one point I said out loud, "if that bear doesn't turn back, I'm going to lose my shit." SPOILER ALERT shit was not lost. Although I expected to latch right on to the character of that little fiesty redhead who wants nothing to do with marriage and defies cultural traditions and expectations (gathered all from the trailer!), it was the big ol queen turned bear that I found myself emotionally bound to. this person who is changed utterly through no fault of their own now finds themselves unable to function in their world- unable to communicate- even the easiest tasks become unbearable obstacles (pun kind of intended but it doesn't really make sense) - and is now dependent on the ability of another person to g...