spectacular

I've been waiting by the mailbox for a week or two for my new glasses.  I had high hopes that they might even be wearable in public, or MAYBE even be nerdycute in some sort of way.

No.

I look like a truck driver.  Or a really weird gym teacher.

Instead of magnifying my eyes like the kid in The Christmas Story (which might be awkward, but not repulsive), they do the reverse, shrinking the appearance of my eyes to an unnatural, beady-eyed rat size.

Cruel world.