Grid City Overload

Grid City Overload (Steven T. Bramble)

i finished reading while my students were writing an essay, which is unfortunate because i really needed to scream and pace around and talk really quickly and not make any sense.  i resorted to writing.  i wrote:

so many thoughts.  the kind of thoughts that matter to me.  the kind to get lost in.   the big pictures and the whys and the crux of human everything.

brilliant.

i think the book reaches me on a subconscious level i'm not even fully aware of.
it speaks to my biggest unanswered questions-
voices real abstract fears-
holds up a shattered mirror.

no hope-
and a severe comfort as a result of that hopelessness
the refusal to redeem or deliver a purpose-
but the articulation of the absence-
the inevitable loneliness of existing at all-
the out-of-controlness embedded at the foundation of everything we do.
the in-control parts playing out like desperate attempts at pacification-
applying identifying titles and labels and ideologies like sun screen to protect us from some absence
we can't cope with or identify or ignore
the general paranoia-
the mystery we are even to ourselves-
we cannot even begin to answer the whys behind our own actions-
much less some larger network of purpose
the cyclical patterns of generations falling and rising-
embracing and rebelling-
changing everything-
changing nothing

that's not even the half of it-

my mind is swimming.

(i hope you read it.)

i hope he never stops writing.

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