it feels less stable... the walls less soundproof... but to look it all in the face and say
THIS IS ALL SUBJECT TO CHANGE
feels more satisfying in the honest kind of way.
less energy spent trying to protect the things you think you know for sure. Content and allowing contentedness without needing to understand its implications or lock down the source or scrutinize the possible effects of choices today ten minutes twenty days thirty years from now.
because it all just keeps going, you know? men and women and cats and tired weeks and awake weeks and filling up gas tanks and wondering what will be next and thinking about and forgetting the details of what was then. judging others and judging our past selves and mostly thinking our present self above reproach
i am today, and subject to change.
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