performance anxiety

modern vs. postmodern
genderation x vs. y
on the cusp
on the cusp
born on the cusp
a decade of fragile
a few years of wandering

"if we give up the idea that it's based in essence, then we have to recognize that it's performace- based on performance. all we have is performance." -Hart

Right? but what about that feeling of essence, that sense of underlying reality. Is it just willing someone into a role? ourselves into a place we would like to fit? Is it based on anything authentic other than circumstances and projection? Ever?

Is there freedom in recognizing/EMBRACING(?) the idea that THIS IS ALL AN ACT? even in transcendence? temporary roles.

sometimes we act for so long, we believe.
___ choose parts carefully
___ ad lib with reckless abandon
___ know the quick way to the exit

is it better to take on one role or ressurect for each act as something new? The role of a lifetime or a constant movement through bit parts that force you to remember that you are a performer performing
and that a costume change waits (always) in the wings.

(but we are thinking beings. what is behind there that is aware and what does it want?)

is that why people have such a hard time with living? they start to believe too much? they refuse to change costumes, or make their exit, or give up the stage even when their role has been played out?

the lights come up, inevitably, whether or not you miss your cue. at some point you face the audience. at some point you are stripped. at some point, if you lose yourself(?) too much, the other its on stage will stare through you and wonder why you are still there.